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comedy, education, students, Teaching, Youth

Off Center

I was subbing yesterday in a classroom full of high school freshmen. At the end of class, minutes before the bell was to ring, I noticed several girls against the wall with their shirts hiked above their belly buttons. I strolled over there slowly as not to cause addition attention from others in the classroom that did not notice. I did not want everyone lifting and hiking shirts up too. At first I thought the young lady lost her belly ring. So I was looking down as I moved towards the girls.

“Did you lose your belly ring?” I asked squinting at the student as I looked down the row of desks.
“No!” She replied. “I was just told my belly button is crooked.”

Taken my surprise and trying not to burst into tears laughing, I said,
“Your belly button is not crooked!” She smiled with relief. The girls dropped their shirts to ponder what I said. One yelled across the room. ” I told you my belly button wasn’t crooked! I started walking away from the girls nonchalantly as I said, “It is off center!”
“What!” She said stopping me. “Off center? What does that mean?” She said to her friend.
“It means your belly button is not in the middle of you stomach!” Said the girl’s friend.
“Oh!” Answered the girl feeling her belly.

By this time I had made my way around many desks back to them.
“But don’t worry,” I whispered still walking. “Your nose is centered. The nose makes a straight line exactly over the belly button. Therefore, your belly button should be where it is suppose to be!” I said demurely with a serious and concerned hint of a smile.

All the girls began checking their noses to see if they were centered. The bell rang. They all left happily.

At the very least, I got them to put their shirts down without alerting the rest of the class. I looked up at the ceiling and shook my head. Tears of laughter sprang from my eyes.😂

I am going to hell!

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